Brace your liver and temporarily pretend like you don't understand dignity: K-Town is back for a second season.
Fresh off of a recent LA Weekly cover, K-Town comes back with a new opening sequence -- no more archetypal titles such as "The Sweetheart," but with just as much slow-motion hair flipping as last season -- and a new cast member.
We open with some gorgeous shots of Young and So Young's wedding in Korea which had both traditional and Westernized ceremonies. If you've gotten married recently, don't look at your wedding footage before watching Season 2's premiere. Your special day will just look like outtakes from The Blair Witch Project.
The gang reunites at the gym for some physical fitness and they tease workout newbie Jasmine for bringing a can of hairspray with her. The women are practically sporting full theatrical makeup, yet Jasmine is over-the-top for wanting her strands to stay in place. Anyway, the girls hit the cardio machines and talk about Violet's new man who happens to be white. It's revealed that his name is Blair, which means he's Super White. If you're thinking of using Blair Underwood as a counterargument, remember that he's one of those black actors that white people can really get behind.
Scarlet, naturally, asks Violet about Blair's penis size right off the bat yet answers her own question by saying she knows it's gotta be bigger than the collective penis of all Korean men. You didn't know they all shared a penis? Prince Jowe overhears this and says that Scarlet is still obsessed with his royal penis and that'd he'd be happy to show it to her if she got on her knees and asked. I suspect that this is a sly reference to fellatio, but Prince Jowe should realize that even on her knees Scarlet would still tower over and SMASH him.
The guys and gals regroup to discuss Young's alternate weddings since it's customary to have a wedding in Korea as well as the States. Young breaks it to them that he's not having a wedding in Koreatown since he'll be starting a new job in Guam soon, which is apparently where he's from. A little Wikipedia search discovered that aside from native Chamorros, Guam's main ethnic groups are Filipinos, whites, Chinese, Japanese, and Koreans. Who knew? Also, K-Town is prompting me to learn and it's freaking me out.
Young is leaving for Guam in about a week, so the gang decides to coordinate an American wedding for him before then. Young warns that his mother-in-law would be there so it has to be a real wedding and not Belasco 2.0. He also picks Mohawk Steve as his best man and though you'd have to slow the frames down, I'm pretty sure you can replay the video and see the exact moment where a tiny part of Prince Jowe and Uncle Joe dies.
At a coffee shop, Jasmine, Steve, Scarlet, and Uncle Joe meet up to discuss wedding planning. Uncle Joe brings all of his headbanded intensity to this one because he'll soon be launching an event business of his own. Immediately, Uncle Joe and Steve bicker about Uncle Joe's dictatorial past and Uncle Joe believes he should take the reins since Steve will just end up getting drunk. It's a really selfish way of saying that Mohawk Steve has an alcohol problem and overall, it is a terribly executed intervention.
They can't bicker for too long since Jasmine's older sister, Christine, shows up and she happens to be -- you guessed it -- a wedding planner. Jasmine actually refers to their family surname as "Chang-a-lang" which I guess is better than "Chang-Ching-Chong" which is prevalent on school playgrounds across this great nation. Christine asks really valid questions about a wedding venue, its availability, A/V set-up, et cetera and this translates to utter nonsense in Uncle Joe's mind. Christine says she'll make Uncle Joe her assistant and in her interview she says she will nip his ego. Psst, Christine: The ego lives inside the headband. I got your back, girl.
Christine eventually doles out tasks to people and Mohawk Steve complains that she doesn't even know Young or what he likes. When given the responsibility of the liquor for the reception, Mohawk Steve declares, "Open bar everything." It's not quite a full sentence, but we see what he's trying to get at. Christine tells him, "That's not your choice," and Mohawk Steve bemoans that "this [Chang-a-lang] is even worse."
Meanwhile, Violet and Prince Jowe meet up to clear the air about their past relationship. Violet says she is with someone new and hopes that she and Prince Jowe can still be friends and that he won't act up. Though Prince Jowe thinks this is a waste of his time, as Violet is now "old news," he pretends to care and says he's happy for her. Violet thinks that deep down Prince Jowe is jealous and that they are still competing with one another. Prince Jowe asks about Blair's ethnicity and remarks that it's weird for him to see her date a non-Asian. Violet says she was never against dating non-Asians, she just never thought she'd have anything in common with one. Not a single thing in common, Violet? What about The Wire? Bacon? Belief in modern science? Prince Jowe then straight up calls Violet a gold digger and asks what stately accoutrements Blair has that he doesn't. He then predicts a quick break-up for the two.
The group meets up later that night at the Audrey magazine fashion show. Young brings So Young to the event which elicits banshee-level screaming from the gals. There must be something in the air because the ladies keep subtly throwing shade at each other. Violet calls Scarlet a sloppy drunk and upon meeting Blair, Scarlet says they make a cute couple since he's good-looking and Violet is sometimes good-looking. I do hope an epic battle is brewing between these two. It's my only Christmas wish.
Christine shows up and nags Uncle Joe about finding a wedding venue. Uncle Joe gripes to his poor girlfriend about feeling underestimated (I wanted to send homegirl a drink through my computer screen) and then tries to sabotage any of Christine's chats with Young and So Young. To his credit, Jasmine and Christine were telling So-Young that Joe doesn't know what he's doing and that he may make everyone in the wedding party wear a bandanna (well played, Jasmine). Jasmine, Christine, and Uncle Joe get into it and then Uncle Joe inexplicably gets on Mohawk Steve's case for not defending him, which opens up old Belasco wounds. Uncle Joe eventually leaves because he feels like the gals have teamed up on him. He has a point, actually. In a hilariously puzzling moment, Jasmine tries to make a metaphor that she and Christine are one person and that when Uncle Joe insults Christine, he's also insulting Jasmine. Only, it comes out as:
Jasmine: Why was he screaming at me?
Christine: [Pause] No, me.
Jasmine: I know. That's me. Why is he screaming at me?
Chrisitne: He's screaming at me.
Jasmine: No, I know. You is me.
When metaphors go terribly wrong, y'all.
While the group argues over who can plan the best wedding for Young, the groom himself is having an existential crisis over his decision to give up his dance dreams to be a stable family man. You know, like, real problems that affect real people. This will likely be sidelined, though, since next week's episode features a Christine/Mohawk Steve hookup, a frisky So Young, and Scarlet in fighting mode. It's called priorities, guys.
K-Town airs on Wednesdays on YouTube's LOUD channel.