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Monday, August 13, 2012

Erotica 2000: The Future of Sex Involved Bungees, and was Very, Very Silly

Posted By on Mon, Aug 13, 2012 at 7:30 AM

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When The Lawnmower Man was released on VHS in 1993, the company sent out shiny promotional key-fobs to video stores. On one side was a still from the then-amazing computer-sex scene in the movie ...
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... and this was on the other side:
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Oooh! Sex in 2000 was going to be all cyber and stuff, whatever that meant! I'm telling you, that set a high bar for the millennium, particularly when you lived in Fresno and hadn't used a computer for a couple years, 2000 still sounded impossibly far away and futuristic -- indeed, The Lawnmower Man was set in 1992, but this goes to show the great things we expected in 2000.

But what was sex like in 2000, you may now ask? Yeah, I don't remember, either. Thankfully, someone went to the Erotica 2000 convention -- held on January 7 of that very year in San Francisco -- and they brought their camera. So let's find out.

Hrm. Okay. This guy is selling flogs and whips. That's cool, but not very, I dunno, 2000-y.

This lady is from Stormy Leather. They make fetish clothes and stuff, which is pretty futuristic-looking, I guess.

Women in sparkly lingerie and pasties cavorting around a web. We've always known things would sparkle in the future, so, yeah. (And who knew that burlesque would eventually get as overexposed and banal as it is now?)

But, gosh darn it, we're a week into 2000! The Lawnmower Man promised us cyber sex! And since that phrase doesn't mean anything, can we at least have weightless sex, like in space? Weightless space-sex, please!

Wait, what's this? Ladies and gentlemen, we have found the future of sex: THE BUNGEE SEXPERIENCE! It even won "Best Invention of the Americas" at the 1999 Inpex Awards, which is apparently a thing that happened.

You can watch the entire Erotica 2000 video in its eight-minute glory on the sftimecap YouTube Channel, but I gotta warn you, it doesn't get better than the bungee segment. Then, again very few things do, and someone really needs to make an animated gif of the last few seconds of the bungee demonstration.

Welcome to the future!

---

Sherilyn Connelly is a San Francisco-based writer. She also curates and hosts Bad Movie Night at The Dark Room, every Sunday at 8pm.

Follow us on Twitter at @ExhibitionistSF (follow Sherilyn Connelly on Twitter at @sherilyn) and like us on Facebook.

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