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Monday, July 9, 2012

Lesbians too Busy Saving Everything to Participate in Studies

Posted By on Mon, Jul 9, 2012 at 9:30 AM

click to enlarge The Kids Are All Right -- The parents, however ...
  • The Kids Are All Right -- The parents, however ...

Last week, we told you about a San Francisco State University study which came to the shocking conclusion that gay parents, like their straight counterparts, have less sex than people without children. I know! We couldn't believe it either. Next thing you know, they're going to tell us Anderson Cooper is gay or something.

Via our sister blog the Snitch:

Researchers at San Francisco State University interviewed 48 gay male couples who are raising children together in San Francisco and Salt Lake City. What they found was that these gay parents had similar lifestyle changes to straight parents -- specifically, they have less time and energy for sex.

While gay parents are spending more time playing Mr. Winky and less time playing with Mr. Winky, parenthood didn't necessarily have an effect on couples who were in open relationships from getting their slut on, though they were more likely to practice safer sex.

Colleen Hoff, professor of sexuality studies at SFSU noted that: "Many fathers said they feel a sense of responsibility toward their children which motivates them to avoid risky sexual behavior.... For the most part, those who were monogamous before becoming parents said they stayed with that arrangement. Those who had open relationships before having children reported that they kept to that agreement."

Missing from the gay parenting study were, well, lesbians, probably because they were all too busy with their summer drum circle schedules to volunteer. "Don't we volunteer enough?" a lesbian voice in my head was quoted as saying. "We save everything -- kittens, whales, Jennifer Beals' career. Can't you leave us out of something for once?"

"You know," a different, more P.C. lesbian voice interrupted, "a large part of this study was actually about HIV transmission. Since lesbians are at such low risk for transmitting the virus, it makes perfect sense that they wouldn't be included. Though it's very typical for mainstream media outlets to only focus on the headline-grabbing aspects of scientific studies." She noted, huffily, before concluding with, "Oh my god, Anderson Cooper is gay? If only I owned a TV, I'd know such things!"

And what about the absence of bisexuals? I asked the voices.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, was their reply.

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Anna Pulley

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