Each Friday, your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from Golden State thrift stores, estate sales, and flea markets.
Satan as Barack Obama
Author: Stephen Kirk
Publisher: Author House, which means Kirk paid for it himself
The Cover Teaches Us: When accusing the president of the United States of being the greatest fiend in all western civilization, use exactly the same phrase structure TV producers do to honor a featured performer at the end of opening credits, as in "Ann B. Davis as Alice."
"I believe that Barack Obama does not know that he is the Anti-Christ yet, he may never know that he is the Anti-Christ, he would probably scoff at the statement if presented, and yet the New Testament in the 'red letter' words of Jesus calls Barack Obama by name as the persona of Satan as his falling." (From the introduction.)
Packed as thickly with crazy as our guts are with corn syrup or the Berenstein Bears are with preachy, Stephen Kirk's Satan As Barack Obama is the kind of crackpot screed that the connoisseur of American madness might at first mistake for obvious, perhaps even inevitable.
After all, it's hardly the first book to finger a sitting president as the very embodiment of evil, to forecast imminent doom for America, or to blame socialist "elite"s for the world's ungodliness. Much of it sounds like a current Iowa stump speech.
But suffer through the humdrum and you'll be rewarded with the magnificent. Marvel when Kirk contends that Jesus found betrayal in Gethsemane only because Judas was a socialist embittered by Jesus's rejection of "social engineering." Or at Kirk's insistence that the sitting president who is the antichrist was named as such by none other than Jesus himself, right there in one of the gospels.
Or at Kirk's claim that the reason nobody figured all this out before he did is that God is a strict adherent to the rules of genre fiction. He writes,
"Certainly God is the revealer of his mysteries and He has the Director's right to conceal through the centuries and then reveal at His time to those He desires. Agatha Christie's mysteries would likewise have less impact if all the clues were revealed immediately from the start with no mind searching requiring by the audience."
So, the sum total of A.D. history has been a drawing-room detective story where Kirk is Miss Marple and the suspects are everyone who ever lived. Except it's a mystery with millenia between acts, one structured like the work of some indulgent slush pile author in dire need of a Robert McKee seminar.
But Kirk's masterstroke is his case against Obama, which he makes in what he pretends is a close reading of those "red words" of Jesus.