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Thursday, May 12, 2011

Dirty Bingo on Sunday at the Tempest:
You've Been Warned

Posted on Thu, May 12, 2011 at 3:00 PM

click to enlarge MC Dreadzilla, host of Dirty Bingo, swears that it's her body in this photo. We believe her.
  • MC Dreadzilla, host of Dirty Bingo, swears that it's her body in this photo. We believe her.
Bingo. It's a word that fits comfortably alongside "senior center" and "church fundraiser." But how about "black dildo," "cocktail," or "porn star?" Get used to it, because a group of oddballs have begun what they call Dirty Bingo on Sunday nights at the Tempest Bar, and if an initial conversation with one of them is any indication, they're here to stay.

"I have already been recognized as 'The Dirty Bingo Lady' walking around town," says MC Dreadzilla. "World domination has already been set in motion."

And this is after just one session.

click to enlarge Dirty Bingo sounds a lot dirtier than this poster suggests -- and we know it's not censored.
  • Dirty Bingo sounds a lot dirtier than this poster suggests -- and we know it's not censored.
Dirty Bingo is not for the meek or insignificant. For a lot of reasons. First, it starts at 10:30 p.m. -- on Sunday. Second, Dreadzilla gave her title as "master of domination." Third, it happens at the Tempest Bar, a way-South-of-Market venue that's not really near anything. It's a hysterical place, run by the very cool Tony Cooney, but if you didn't know it was there, you'd probably never know it was there. If you know what I mean. (But now you know it's there.)

Prize- and body-donators include Good Vibrations, Body Manipulations, Kink.com, and the Stock Room, purveyor of naughty leather goods and accessories.

How does Dirty Bingo work? We asked Dreadzilla.

"Dirty Bingo is very simple," she says. "Instead of toaster ovens and large slabs of meat, the participants win porn, sex toys, and booze."

Toaster ovens and large slabs of meat. Brilliant. What else?

"I will be MC'ing the evening ... and I refuse to wear a shirt."

Okay then.

Dreadzilla reports (and we choose to believe her, especially because of that "world domination" remark) that during Dirty Bingo's first occurrence, an adult performer from Kink.com stopped by and autographed DVDs that were given away. Other prizes included "a giant black dildo" and movies with titles such as Who's Nailin' Paylin (misspelling intentional, we're sure) and Juicy Orgasms.

But Dreadzilla says there was a downside: "We weren't able to give out all the prizes. Everybody got so drunk they quit paying attention."

Nonetheless, she's clearly excited: "I get to yell the words 'Dirty taco!' and 'Blumpkin!' into a microphone."

See? Not for the meek and insignificant.

"We'll take this as far as we can without getting arrested," she adds.

At least she has some boundaries.

Dirty Bingo starts at 10:30 p.m. at the Tempest Bar, 431 Natoma (at Fifth St.). Admission is free. (Or should we make that "Enter at your own risk"?)

For more events in San Francisco this week and beyond, check out our calendar section.

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